i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
