is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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