she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
