I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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