just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
