You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
