She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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