man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
