Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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