is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
