did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
