i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
