nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My breasts were aching with rage.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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