I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
