dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
