if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
