I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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