You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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