apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
