Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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