I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
