Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
