when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
