Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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