Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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