There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
