As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
