i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
