check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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