and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Randomize
