..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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