and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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