Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
