Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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