We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
