PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
