Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
