He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
