I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
