I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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