Did you just see the Batmobile???
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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