Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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