dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
