sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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