Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
