I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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