You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
