Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
