wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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