sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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